When your toddler does something well, do you reward her?  Do you offer a bribe to your preschooler to behave in the grocery store and you’ll buy him some cookies?  How do you reward your child when they’ve behaved well?

Giving your child a reward for good behavior is a controversial subject with many experts.  They’ll tell you that the child will do what you want in order to get the reward, or that rewards have no real impact in changing a child’s behavior.  However, rewards don’t have to be expensive, and don’t even have to be tangible.

If your toddler has done something really well then you might offer her a reward for the good behavior.  Sometimes your positive words and encouragement will be reward enough, but you can also offer a special privilege to your child as a reward – perhaps you read her an extra bedtime story, or maybe you let her select what movie to watch on family movie night.

If you do reward your child for desirable behavior, be sure that it isn’t a bribe you are offering them to behave.  A bribe is when you tell your child ahead of time that they’ll be getting a tangible reward for their good behavior – if you sit still in church I’ll get you an ice cream cone.  Chances are the child will modify her behavior to get the ice cream and not because it’s the right way to behave.  A reward would be offered after the behavior – because you behaved like a big girl in church today we’ll go get an ice cream cone.

The best way to reward your child is to do it with praise and positive reinforcement.  Your child doesn’t have to do something momentous in order to deserve praise.  If she puts her dirty clothes in the hamper you can praise her on doing the right thing.  Always praise your child when you see her behaving well.  This will help to shape her behavior better than any tangible reward you can buy.