Have you heard the old English proverb “sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me”?  Do you actually agree with that, or do you think the following quote from Eric Idle is more accurate: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go into a corner and cry by myself for hours.”

Words hurt, and the words you use in front of your child can have a lasting, negative effect on your child.  It doesn’t matter how old the child, labels and negative words are destructive.  My friend’s son is about 12 years old and is husky (not fat by any means).  His father and older brother were built the same way at that age and grew up to be a more healthy weight.  His uncle came over the other day and said to him that he was fat.  He didn’t eat anything for two days because he was so upset.

It’s important for children to feel loved, accepted and respected.  Labels produce feelings of rejection and hate.  Using labels can be emotionally damaging to a child.  These feelings of being unworthy can lead to a negative self image and low self esteem.

It’s important to never use any kind of demeaning or belittling words when speaking to your child, no matter the situation.  If you’re upset and angry, put the child in a situation where she won’t hurt herself and take a time out for yourself before you say anything more.  When disciplining a child it’s important to use only positive words.  Give the child the reassurance that he is still loved, that it was the behavior and not him that made you upset or that is being punished.