I’ve found myself to be in a position that I never thought possible. I’m caring for my two preschool aged children while also having some responsibilities for my aging parents. Granted, the needs of my parents aren’t all that much right now but they are in their 70’s and the time might come when I am forced to make some decisions about care, specifically having to put one of them in a nursing home. I believe the term to describe my role is as a member of the sandwich generation.

Since I’m not one to leave things until the last minute, I decided to start reading up on nursing home care and some of the options that are available to pay for care. I’m no lawyer, and I’m no accountant, so I’ll leave the discussion about paying for this care alone right now. But I did find some interesting information about choosing a nursing home. I thought it was really informative, and there were a few things that I didn’t think about. So here are some of the things I found that one might want to consider when evaluating a nursing home for a parent.

1. Location. Where is the facility located? This might be the single most important fact, or if not the most important then in the top three. Studies have shown that the patients in a nursing home who have a friend or family member actively involved in the care of the patient will get better care overall. Let’s face it….if you are there every week or every few days you can find out if your loved one is being well taken care of, bathed, fed, and given the opportunity to participate in the community activities.

2. Staff. Is the staff caring and compassionate? Do they treat their residents with dignity? Will they respect the privacy of a patient, making sure the door is closed to a room when he/she is being dressed and not left out in the wide open for the world to see? Do they know and call the patients by name? If your parents are old fashioned do they respect the fact they want to be addressed as “Mr. Smith” and not “Jim?”

3. Facility condition. Make several visits to the nursing home at different times of the day and on different days of the week when you are evaluating it. Is it clean? Does it smell all right? (With bedpans and accidents you’re never going to have a completely smell free environment but overall is it a pleasant smell?) Is it well lit? Inviting? Decorated if a holiday is approaching? A good temperature – neither too hot nor too cold? Is there a safe and secure outdoor space for residents to enjoy in good weather?

4. Inspection reports. All nursing homes are required to undergo regular inspections. Ask to see a copy of the most recent one performed on this facility. The reports are also available on the Medicare website.

5. Facility programs. Are there activities for the residents that are appropriate for their age and abilities? Does a beautician come in to do hair, or is there a beauty shop on premise? If your loved one is religious, will he/she be given the opportunity to attend a religious service on a regular basis? Will they provide transportation to doctor appointments outside the building?

6. The residents themselves. When you go to visit the facility are the residents clean and well groomed? Are they dressed appropriately for the time of day and for the season? Do they seem happy?

7. Meals. Food can be a big sticking point for many people. What kind of dining options are provided? Are meals only provided in the patient rooms, or is there a community dining area? How many choices are provided at each meal? If Dad has always eaten a baloney sandwich for lunch every day will he be given the opportunity to have one every day at the nursing home? Are nutritious snacks provided whenever the residents need or want them? Is assistance provided to residents who need help with feeding themselves?

8. References. Speak with the family and friends of current residents if you know any. Ask them how they like the nursing home and if they would recommend it to someone else. Don’t know anyone? Don’t be afraid to walk up to a friend or family member of a resident when you are on a visit and see what they have to say.

Finally, trust your gut instinct. If you have any questions, concerns or lingering doubts about the facility then this probably isn’t the right nursing home for your loved one. There are many nursing homes to choose from….this one isn’t the right one for your family.