As much as we might not like to think about it, death is a part of life.  What do you say to your child when she asks you about death?  Your answer will depend upon the age and maturity of the child – the answer you give your three year old will not be the same one you give your nine year old.

For a younger child you might want to keep it simple – “Grandma was very sick, and while the doctors did everything they could to make her better, she died.  She is in Heaven now.”  Chances are your child will respond with an OK and move along.  Don’t use the terms sleeping or passed on.  Children might become scared that they won’t wake up from their nap if they go to sleep, and they just don’t understand what passed on means.  It’s all right to use the word died.

Older children might have a harder time understanding and accepting death.  They may question why it happened, think that it isn’t fair, or even blame God. Make sure you validate his feelings and help them work through the process of grief.

If your child asks you questions about death, your best bet is to tell her the truth.  You can explain that every living thing must die, using the examples of plants or pets.  Don’t focus on the “why” of death with your child.  Make sure to validate her feelings and encourage her to celebrate the person’s life, not the death.